Sigh. When I released the blog a couple of days ago, it seems like only mac users can see the website.
Fixed that...hopefully.
Also fixed the slow loading pages...
Wohooo...
Not just need to upload recent photos in my comp...
Haiz. Travelling back and forth between my old home and new one just for internet. Anyway, I'm off for the weekend thanks to Fleur's BBQ. In the meantime, I'll still be working on the project. Guess it's finally time to let you in for a sneak preview.
I'm working on the links page at the moment. So I'll add your blog links eventually. d;-p
There's still loads more to do; but in the meantime...
Hope you enjoy this.
http://web.me.com/happyman725/
Pardon the crawling speed... Have no idea on how to improve it. All the images are already abysmally tiny.
Taa now
Finally the exam is over. ONE MORE MONTH people; till I'm back to the motherland. So, moved into a new place and it's going to take approximately 3 weeks or so to get internet. By then, I would have revealed my big project. Haha. Seems like I'm hyping it up now.
Just going to list out what came out for the exam for future references. Besides, it might help other students later.
So for OSCE Jun 09 for Third Years,
16 Stations of 8 minutes.
History taking:
Hyperthyroidism
IBS
Angina
Heart Failure
BPH
Physical Examination:
Peripheral Arterial Disease
Aortic Regurg
PE
Cervical Lymph Nodes Examination
Procedures:
ABG
Urinalysis
Basic Life Support
IV infusion
Explaining/Interpretation:
Gall Stones (stupid simulated patient laughed at my drawing. Hmpf!!)
Colonoscopy
Hypertension + Starting ACE inhibitor therapy
Stop all clocks, stop all the leaky taps. Stop the rush of wind and all the laughter.
Stop the boiler and all the drunks from making noise. Stop the creasing sound of the sheets. Stop my pounding heart and even stop my mind from thinking.
Stop it all.
My exam is tomorrow. Why can't the earth stop on it's axis? Why can't the universe grind to a faltering stop?
Stop!
Stop for a few hours. Let me rest for the assault to come.
The Tsunami is there on the horizon, none but I run for cover. I pray for it to be over. Let the icy wave cool my tempest heart.
Oh well, exam is over and done with. Phew and grrrr at the same time. We're suppose to learn Obs and Gynae next year, but the paper was literally peppered with them. I swear, I've never seen so many vagina's in my entire life.
Next hurdle is the OSCE's. Just received my timetable. I'm unlucky enough to be selected for the first day. Thus, wont be able to get tips and whatnots from other students. Guess this time I'll have to be a giver. Sienzz..
Anyway, working on something major at the moment; might be a bit quiet for a week or so. But hopefully the surprise is worth the wait.
Muackz all
It irks me- the dust.
How it unassumingly intrudes.
Slowly, gradually, at an old wives’ pace.
It takes days; maybe even hours,
To leave their fragile mark.
What once was yours; usurped,
Without any resistance.
That freckled white snow is everywhere,
On my clothes, in the air, and even-
On the reflected me I see in the mirror.
Days go by…
I’m surrounded,
Everything looks the same,
But nothing truly stays that way,
That leaves me but one choice.
I cleaned.
I swept, I dusted, I vacuumed,
I sweat, I hungered, I persevered,
Slowly, gradually, at an old wives’ pace,
I reclaimed everything.
I needed to clean.
Because you see…
My mom, she’s like dust.
The Homo Sapien race is an irksome one. If there was one god that we all serve, that would be the God of Familiarity. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something remotely pleasant about a routine. I know I know, we need to break out once in a while, but for 95% of the time, we seek solace in the commonplace.
I have a fear against looking stupid. I think that’s the purpose of my life; to get from birth to death without enduring stupidity. Whoever’s reading this, let that be a hint that I want that on my tombstone.
Min Nadzri 1986-????
A great person who goes through life looking smart.
Oooohhh, there’s a lot of instances where one can stumble into a situation where one comes off like a complete jackass. But handling a new scenario where we break out from the norm is probably the gateway to hell itself. More so when you are in this country.
I hate my accent.
No, hate is the wrong word. I despise my accent. Stupid complicated incomprehensible Malaysian mix with god knows what morphing into heaven knows what.
Something happened this morning which I dare not reveal. It’s just so terribly humiliating. It was a mix of a new scenario, the nonsense that I spew, a dash of not wanting to look stupid and a hint of pretending to understand what the other person was saying inevitably leads to a bubbling cauldron simmering with a recipe for disaster.
Suffice to say, there’s no mound on earth that can bear my shameful face.
Arghhh!!!
Ahh, Tired. Just changed to a new PBL group. Anyway, needed to show off PS skill to new group, hence...
Oh no! Sick again. I swear I got it from this frail old lady I interview who spewed aerosol laden viruses right into my upper respiratory tract.
Just want to sleep...
Feel so dirty. Heading of to shower immediately after I post this. So what happened I hear you say?
Well, went to do the laundry just now. Anyway, there's two machines; washers and dryers. All the washers were backlogged, but there were still empty dryers out there. So, when I went down to move my stuff from the washer to the dryer, I was amazed to discover through shock and horror that someone has moved my stuff. I mean, I have all my erm.. undergarments in there. What's worst, is that the person was a lady who's completely without remorse or guilt.
I think I felt embarrassed for the both of us. The cheek! It's not normal right? And it's normal to feel erm, violated right? Erghhh!!!
Thanks to DEBBO, managed to get a photoshop version that works. And to commemorate the inaugural software, here's my first project. Hehe
Haha. Can't believe it. Both Kevin and I had the same idea of making our blogs more personal. I am not sure if I can tell you his blog address just yet. When he does decide to make it public, will add the link.
Anyway, Kevin was a thorn on my thumb for several months. I know he's going through a bad patch, and the best I can do is just send him some stupid lame ass feel better cliches. Occasionally, when I get a text or some signs of his rough time, I have it in my mind that he's going to do something really stupid (suicide was one of them). So off I go and send him another text; which he never replies to of course. I never bother to follow up, life just gets in my way. I am a terrible friend. The same thing happened to Caryn. I always promised myself that I will find time to talk to her on MSN, but that never happens. I would never forgive myself if something happened to either off them that I could have prevented.
When I reach a really bad patch- I go in a cave and completely shut myself up to the world. That's always been the best way for me. What I never I realize is the ripple effect it probably has on my friends. The worry I feel for Kevin/Caryn. Jeez, that's something my friend should never feel for me. It takes some guts to be friends with me. I promise I'll try to send more texts when I'm down- just to let you know I'm getting through it.
Since I can't ps something for him, guess a wordy post is all I can do for the moment.
Glad to know you've joined back to the world of living Benny.
*sigh of relief*
On a slightly lighter note. My parents revealed their hand. It wasn't a double ace after all, it was a mere 16. Received a text from my dad that reads (translated to English):
Min, do you have a blog? Your auntie wanted to see it
because your cousin wanted to start one up. Both your auntie and cousin
wanted to take a look at it to get some ideas.
Can you pass the address?
I sensed my mom's evil hand behind this text. I can smell the Channel No.5.
Why did I make this blog private I hear you ask. Well, for one thing, I'm getting highly suspicious that anonymous is actually my mom. The 'how can you love another woman if you don't love your mother" is typical her. I wouldn't be surprised if she has a conversation with me on the net using a pseudo name. Hmph!
The fact that she called me when she wakes up in Malaysia the day after I rambled about the stupid 'orange' post to... get this, ask me if I have enough money. My mom never asks me if I have enough £££. It's always me calling her telling her that I don't have any. She also let it slipped that I have a PS3. Now how on earth did she find out that out without reading my blog. I never told any of my family members.
My mom is a curious monkey, the fact that I made it private will provoke her. Push her buttons so to speak to reveal her hand. Hmmm, I don't think I actually mind her reading it if she told me she is reading it. But when she read it in secret, posting comments as anonymous, using blog-only info to get to me and reading every bit of my sordid affairs makes me feel, erm, slightly violated. Haha.
The ball's in your court now mom. Can you win this Blackjack game with that double ace? I'm calling your bluff.
Before my 5-12am shift at the hospital started on Valentine's day, decided to do some groceries since every edible tidbits were miraculously consumed. Was kinda hopping from one shop to another to get everything; and on the last stop, decided to stop by the market to get some fruits.
I was always a sucker for oranges, and guess what? There was a... bargain. Thus, being a good Malaysian and all, decided to buy more than I could carry (it really was an awesome deal). I consequently struggled with the 1km walk back home... But that's not the point of this story.
Somewhere along the walk back, it occurred to me; this was what my mom once did routinely. This was back in Birmingham prior to her car purchase of course. Back then, buying Halal meat means a 2 bus ride into a very dodgy part of town.
Everyone who met me and my mom know that we have a somewhat playful interaction. Back in Birmingham (and even now), when she comes back from grocery shopping, I used to scavenge for the good stuff and hide them away. It brings me glee when she exclaims about her missing items. And obviously, I would parade those missing items when the time is right. Oranges and mangoes were absolutely sublime and most sought for in the grocery bag.
I know it seems silly, but when I reached home and took a look at the oranges, I realized the amount of sacrifice my mom undertook to bring me up in this world. She never once complained about the heavy groceries bags, never once complained that I steal all the good stuff, never once complained of the countless journey she travelled alone on the bus to provide food, never once begrudge that I parade those items that she carried for miles.
Here's the thing, if she never complained about those small things, what are the big things that she sacrificed for me?
I know Valentine's day came and went, but here's to the love of my life. Here's an...an orange mother. Loving you more than I care to say. Kundu Bundu You.
p.s Would also like to dedicate an orange to Debbo who's adjusting to life in Australia this Saint Valentine's Day. Hope that the marfan thing would *wink wink* go away. Faster get your internet please, can't afford to keep on texting you in Australia. d;-p Hating you just as much.
Annnndddd touch down back to the world wide web. Cant believe it's been almost a month ++ since I updated. Well folks, it's not my fault dont ye know. My comp went bust on me. Was watching house when it went kapoof! Well, not exactly kapoof. More of a krekk krekk krekk eee eeek beepoop.
Twas a very tense month before I decided to have it replaced than fixed (it's a long story); but rest ye gentle untroubled minds, for all my pictures and documents were salvageable. However, the bad news is, I have to get adjusted to this new comp. No photoshop yet, so just bear with me. Also, since I had no comp for 1 month, all the pictures just piled and piled and piled on me. Just cant be bothered to sort it all out anymore. Just going to upload it all on facebook, the good and the bad. Will go back to photoshop some of the very good ones when I have time. Till then, enjoy tagging yourself (cant be bothered to tag 300++ pictures). Haha.
Catch ya later then folks...Muackzz
p.s I have two new babies. Haha.. Tada...
Still getting use to the Mac though. Although some of the programs is such a breeze, others are so marfan. Think I'm still used to Windows. Need to learn how to use shortcut keys AND get use to the fact that there's no Delete key. Blek...
Finally managed to settled in Manchester again. Phew! That took a while. Still on Malaysian time though. Keep on sleeping at 6pm and waking up at 2am. At least I dont feel sleepy during the clinical hours- which is a blessing.
Anyway, need to get rid of this album before the wedding pictures can go up. It'll be a while though- exam coming up on 19th January. So expect some long silences from the blog till then.
Taa.
****
Went to the Lake District with Mike, Maha and Katie. Although the plan was hatched a long time before, finally managed to make it a reality several days before I leave to Malaysia. Thanks goes out to Katie who lent us the use of her cabin up in the District and Mike who drove us there. Muackx. I'm afraid this is a picture blog entry, so I'll just let the pictures do all the talking.
Note: Dont think I can upload all 150++ pictures here. Head over to Facebook for most of the pictures. Another thing, the pictures are in reverse chronological order. Uploaded it the wrong way. Huhu!
Finally reached back to cold cold UK. It must have snowed sometime back- I can see the remnants on the ground.
When the texts and the phone calls dies away soon after arrival, you're left with this void and a sense of helplessness. I've warned my friends about this a couple of times. This sense of dread is best fought when expected. I've encountered this feeling every single time I fly back to the UK from Malaysia. It's the thing I fear most. It's here right now- even as I am typing; and it's staying. Not phone calls, nor texts from back home can quench it once it enters. You began to question yourself, why am I here? What am I am doing? Is all this worthit?
The worst thing is, I can't even dilute this misery amongst friends. I tried that before, and it made falling down even harder. Feeling this alone, with no remedy in sight but time, is the worst thing I have encountered and experienced in my entire meaningless existence. Why won't it just go away?
I know it'll disappear soon, and I am just as sure that it'll come back again. Rearing it's despairing head to weary homesick travellers.
Sleep is the only solace. It dulls the ache. I wish to wake up later, finding that this is just a nightmare. I can only... dream.
Oh boy, have I got a story to tell you. But first, let's run through all the goodbye's prior to departure.
Manchester IMU Goodbye
Decided to cook for all the MRI and Hope IMU students one last time before I leave. Main course: mushrooms, omelette and ayam masak merak. The result of a tiring cooking experience?
Actually cooked again for Maha and Mike. But was so tired that day that I didn't even take any pictures at all. Yup, I was THAT tired. Had a blast though. At least they didn't comment that my cooking smelt like urine this time. Pffffff!
Secret Santa
Decided to push for Secret Santa this year just to have a lit' bit more fun. Was suppose to have it later, but since I was leaving so soon, they brought it early just for me. Ah bless.
Somebody was grumpy because his Secret Santa was sick and couldnt make it. Awwww!
Steph was really happy with her cuddly gift.
I got a buff. How cool is that? There's 10+ ways to wear it. Will have to colour code it properly though. It's so colourful.
I would normally never upload such a blurly picture, but this was a special occasion. Andy was actually posing. We managed to 'break' him. Muahahah!!
A Not So First Class Departure.
Hence we began our main story. Leaving to Malaysia. How exciting does that sound? Well in theory, it does sound good. Plan is: catch a flight from Manchester to Heathrow at 5pm. Will reach there at 6pm with plenty of time to spend in the First Class lounge before the 10pm flight to Malaysia.
So: left the house at 2:30 pm via a combination of taxi and train reaching at Manchester airport in good time at 3:30pm. Looked at the departure screen "5pm flight to Heathrow has been cancelled due to bad weather at London". *Peed it pants* Wth wth wth. If something bad has to happen, I swear to god it'll happen to me.
Went to the customer service counter and press on the fact that I have a connecting flight at Heathrow. Managed to secure the next flight at 6:45pm. Hmmm. Will reach there at 7:45pm. Bit of a tight squeeze, but I'll manage to get home. WRONG!! 6:45pm flight was delayed till 7:30. Fine fine. Will reach at 8:30pm. Will have to run, but I'll get the 10pm flight for sure. Guess again? Reached Heathrow at 9:00pm. *pulls hair*. Pilot announces on the intercom "I'm sorry ladies and gentleman, this just shows that I am not that sure about Heathrow airport. We've landed at the wrong terminal, please bare with us while we secure a connecting train for you". *TIA*. Got the train, claimed my baggage, and ran like hell. Reached the check-in counter to find out that it was closed with construction workers fixing the light at 9:45pm. *Heart stops beating*.
Ran around like a headless chicken to find the MAS counter. Explained the situation to a woman there.
Lady: "Sorry sir, I dont think we can manage to have you checked in at this time. We'll get you the next flight tomorrow morning".
*cried inside*. Then I thought, 'what the heck' screw modesty and being humble.
Me: "are you sure you cant do anything...even for a first class passenger?'
Lady: "Hang on sir.."
Somebody came running down within minutes and opened the check-in counter. Because Heathrow was technically closed by then, the conveyor belt for the luggage wasn't switched on.
Check-in lady: "Sir, I'll have someone manually carry your bag to the plane. Please proceed to gate 13 as fast as you can".
Oh my god!!! Zoomed across Heathrow and boarded the flight at 10:10pm- departing soon after. Freakin' hell. I didnt realized first class has such treatment. After that, it was smooth sailing all the way. Now that I have actually flown first class, I realized that aside from the fast track, the fast security, the lounge, and the fast immigration; it's not that special. Dont get me wrong. I wouldnt mind flying first class indefinitely, but if my money can be spent elsewhere, it wont be spent flying first class. Another thing I realized is that first class passengers dont appreciate being there. They dont use the in flight entertainment, they dont use the on board services. All they do is tap tap tap on the computer or sleep. That's a bit of a conundrum for me, you work so hard to get what you want. But when you do get it, you don't appreciate it anymore because you're so busy maintaining where you are. Sad really. One thing I do know, flying first class will never get boring for me. d:-p
Twelve seats, five passengers, and two toilets= AWESOME!!!
Seats was so huge, my feet didn't even touch the footstool.
Fortunately for me, if I cant reach the footstool, then the footstool will have to reach me. The back massage was invigorating. Nearly had an orgas...
The seat was both an Aisle and a Window seat. Weeee...
I love the fact that you have control over 4 windows (it's even controlled automatically). Makes capturing this kind of shot a breeze.
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